FISHCAKE??

FISHCAKE???
Current mood: full yes, you heard me.

i said fishcake.

welcome to the beginning of my journey into the complex and delightful world that is oriental food. and i dont just mean any oriental food. i mean, walking into the asian market and buying things that i cant tell what they are by looking. the packages are not in english. the cooking directions are not in english. WHAT IS THAT THING FLOATING IN THAT STUFF???

we are talking the weird shit that is unidentifiable. the shit they dont sell in louisiana restraunts. anywhere. and as i discovered, there are plenty of good reasons that they dont sell it. yum.

ah , yes. pure joy .

here is a little taste of my adventure for those of you too bored to be doing anything better right now.

today i purchased
fishcake - similar to crabstick ( imitation crab to those of you ignorant in the ways of asian culinary delights) .. a rubbery log of pink and white ( or red or green and white) pressed ground fish often served in udon noodle soup. although hard as a rock, it actually had somewhat of a pleasant taste. i was thoroughly frightened by its appearance at first opening of package. similar to the rubber super ball of asian food. high in protein, low in fat, low in taste, high in springiness.chew it and that little fucker chews back.
seasoned capelin roe- if you have ever had sushi, youve eaten these tiny little orange eggs that come on top as a garnish. not bad alone either. but not altogether exciting. maybe ill mix some with wasabi and make sushi.
funny little fish and vegetable dumplings - these things came in some kind of eel sauce like base. that shit smelled awful, honestly. i will not be going back for round two. simply because my sense of smell is way too connected to my taste buds . as is everyone else's. no one in their right mind would eat this. note that i am not in my right mind.
seasoned seaweed salad- once again, the smell of ass. pure ass. the kitchen reeked for an hour after i opened the package. eh. only one way to find these things out, right? however it tasted WONDERFUL. go figure. the lady said it was good, and that an american guy bought a whole box of seaweed salads. this is not the kind that you experience at the restraunt. far stinkier. i guess that american guy doesnt ever have friends over. . ever.
steamed buns - pork mini ones, and CELERY and bean curd ones. celery cooked tastes - well- like grass. thats the only way i can put that. very grassy. there was enough celery in there to make a rabbit vomit. oh and dont put the pork ones in the microwave. they will explode. everywhere. and then smell of pork fat. also a bit greasy. should have thought of that because pork is - fatty. ugh. had to clean the microwave after this one.
various and sundry soup mixes along with a TUB OF FUCKING MISO. i will never buy miso again. because i now own all of it in the world. also dried seaweed. to rehydrate and eat in the miso. i am my own walking restraunt.
the best things were the honeydew melon popsicles that i bought. like a cross between ice cream and popsicle. amazingness. very fragrant as well.
the fucking strangest and surprising has a tie between the fishcake and the SEASONED DRIED KELP that i bought.

ok question. when someone says seasoned you think salty and spicy right?

WRONG. i took out what i thought was a sea salt covered piece of kelp and discovered that not only was is NOT salt, it was sugar. this shit is loaded in sugar. can you imagine eating sea plants covered in sugar? neither can i. andrew zimmern would be proud of me.

and it also got stuck in my teeth. negative emotions abound .

as my adventure continues, i will continue to enlighten the ignorant by cooking strange things for - well, myself. and anyone who is willing to embark on the risky tides of asian-ness. oh . and you can't say no to anything i put in front of you.. those are the rules.

by the way - if someone offers you korean kimchi , please be aware that it is made by layering raw oysters, chili paste and vegetables and brine shrimp between leaves of cabbage and then BURYING IT IN THE GROUND for a while until it is properly nasty and fermented. then they eat it. but it's actually prettty damned tasty. and i didnt die.

if only i could get my hands on some fugu.